Lao Kang
January 16, 2010
ChatGPT translation from 《女儿的大学路》
When it comes to my daughter’s college applications, that was back in the fall of the year before last. My daughter’s high school grades had always been excellent, and she scored over 2300 on the SAT, with a perfect score in the reading section. She took three SAT subject tests, scoring over 700 on each, with a perfect score in math. She was a member of the student council, editor-in-chief of the school newspaper, captain of the girls’ rowing team, and had won the Girl Scout Silver and Bronze Awards.
My daughter also held the title of U.S. national champion in women’s épée. However, her admission to college wasn’t entirely due to her fencing skills. In fact, her talent in this area may have caused her to miss an opportunity. Looking back, I often mused: “You never know which cloud will bring rain!”
Many kids seize the chance to go to college far away, the farther from their parents, the better! My daughter was no exception. She was determined to go to Stanford University. The coach of Stanford’s fencing team was also interested in her. Her high school college counselor boasted that, given her academic record and “political performance” (1), she could get into Stanford even without fencing. Feeling confident, she only applied to Stanford’s early admission program. We repeatedly warned her not to put all her eggs in one basket and to start preparing other applications, but she brushed it off, casually replying, “I will!”
On December 15, Stanford’s notification arrived, but it wasn’t an acceptance; it was a “deferred” notice. This meant she had been moved to the regular application pool. We panicked because all the college advisors said it was unlikely for a deferred applicant to later be accepted. Her school counselor subtly hinted that Stanford was no longer a viable option unless my daughter achieved extraordinary accomplishments during the deferral period.
My daughter was disheartened. For a week, she didn’t want to do anything but chat online with her friends and complain. We were as anxious as ants on a hot pan, calling and emailing her daily before and after work, urging her to write her applications and not miss the deadlines. Christmas arrived, and with only a week left until the deadline, she finally took action!
She and her college counselor had drawn up a list of colleges she wanted to apply to, divided into three categories: “Reach,” “Target,” and “Safety.” There was only one safety school on the list. My daughter’s high school was affiliated with a university, and there was an unwritten rule that if a graduate from this high school had an average grade of B or above, they would be admitted as long as they applied.
The other two categories required more thought. My daughter wanted to join a college fencing team, so she only considered schools with Division I fencing programs. However, fencing, being a niche sport in the U.S., is only offered at top-tier schools. Some schools have excellent sports programs and fencing teams, but their academic standards aren’t as high, so my daughter felt it would be beneath her to attend those schools. Most of the schools in the “Reach” category were Ivy League, and there were only a few in the “Target” category. Fortunately, her safety school wasn’t bad, but since it didn’t have a decent fencing team, she was reluctant to go.
Most students applying to top universities have excellent grades and strong “political performance” (1), especially Asian-American students, who seem to be cut from the same mold: a GPA over 4.0, multiple perfect SAT scores, a slew of AP courses, and awards in music competitions such as violin or piano. Admissions offices likely rely on essays to differentiate these applicants. We worried for quite a while about whether my daughter’s essay would “stand out” to the admissions officers.
We were never concerned about her English writing ability, but we worried whether the content would grab attention. The sample essays we had read often told stories of how the writer persevered through adversity to achieve success, or how they gained life-changing experiences by volunteering in underprivileged countries. My daughter, however, wrote about the dramatic lives and frustrations of high school students: friends making up today and falling out tomorrow, and how she was often turned into their “therapist” and “matchmaker.” Her essay was filled with dark humor, but I felt it was more of a trivial bourgeois sentiment, far removed from the grand narratives of saving humanity. And how many readers would appreciate dark humor? If the readers were parents themselves, would they look down on these kids wasting time online late at night?
We gently expressed these concerns to our daughter, but she wasn’t bothered: “Mr. Duck (her college counselor) said my essay was excellent, both in writing and content!” Our hints eventually annoyed her to the point of protest: “None of my friends’ parents interfere with their college applications. You guys read my applications and now put me through this torture! If you have any issues, go talk to Mr. Duck!” From then on, she didn’t allow us to be involved in her college applications.
We had no choice but to consult Mr. Duck. He reassured us that admissions officers read dozens or even hundreds of essays daily, and how many high school students have accomplished the grand feats of saving humanity? So most of what they read is the same old thing. He was confident that my daughter’s essay would stand out and grab attention. He added that the admissions officers were trained to read between the lines, discerning a student’s personality, potential, and writing skills from the essay, without focusing on the specifics of the story.
Since Mr. Duck had once worked in a university admissions office, his words carried authority! However, he had also once insisted that my daughter was sure to get into Stanford, which misled us, leaving us skeptical of his assurances.
Finally, one day in early March, my daughter received an early acceptance letter from Williams College. The letter specifically mentioned how her essay was “a pleasure to read.” At last, we could breathe a sigh of relief. My daughter was thrilled, dancing around and saying, “I told you I knew how to write a college application!”
Even though my daughter held a national championship title, her path to college wasn’t through sports. Every year during college application season, coaches submit a list of athletes they want to the admissions office. However, positions usually open only when current team members graduate. In a small sport like fencing, each weapon group typically has only four members, and each year, only one or two might make it onto the coach’s list, if any. Coaches often scout future team members at national competitions, focusing on those who excel at a young age. If a fencer continues to show rapid progress over several years, they might be selected. My daughter started fencing late, beginning in her first year of high school (2), and by her third year, she had earned the national champion title. However, she had only competed in two or three national tournaments and had never caught the attention of any college coaches. The top schools set their sights globally: Harvard recruited a fencer who represented Israel in the 2008 Beijing Olympics; Stanford accepted a fencer who had repeatedly represented the U.S. in international competitions and ranked highly nationally. Getting on the coach’s list at these schools was extremely difficult!
Sometimes, if the admissions office finds a student who meets their academic standards and has some talent in a sport, they might contact the coach. If the coach gives their approval, the student’s chances of being admitted increase significantly. Whenever we visited a campus, we tried to meet with the coach, hoping my daughter could make it onto their list, or at least receive a recommendation from the coach if the admissions office asked. But the coaches already had their favorites, and since they had never seen my daughter in competition, she had no chance of making their list. Only the coaches at Columbia University and Duke invited my daughter for a campus tour, where she spent a couple of days living with current students. This was the closest she came to gaining a coach’s favor.
One coach later explained that if you aren’t at the top of the coach’s list, you might as well not be on the list at all. If the top candidate is admitted, the others are placed on a waiting list. Since colleges typically over-admit by about 10% to account for students deciding not to attend, the waiting list is only activated when a significant number of students turn down their offers. If a physics major turns down their offer, the admissions office will look for another physics major from the waiting list. However, the chances of the top candidate for a sport turning down their offer are slim, so if you’re on the waiting list for fencing, there’s little hope of being picked! I suspect this is what happened with my daughter’s Stanford application. She made it onto the coach’s list, but not at the top. The top fencer, who had repeatedly represented the U.S. in international competitions and ranked highly nationally, gladly accepted Stanford’s offer, leaving my daughter’s application in the “forgotten corner.” Of course, this is just my speculation.
My daughter was determined to attend Stanford but didn’t get in. However, she was accepted by Harvard, Yale, and Princeton, and ultimately chose Harvard. A colleague’s daughter had her heart set on Yale, but Yale didn’t accept her, while Harvard did, and she became my daughter’s classmate. We’ve also met several students who were accepted by Stanford, Harvard, and Yale at the same time. So, as I said, you never know which cloud will bring rain! As far as my wife and I are concerned, having our daughter attend a school close to home is the best outcome!
(1) American universities value students’ leadership abilities, community service—essentially the idea and practice of serving others—and achievements in extracurricular activities. I consider all of these as “political performance.”
(2) Lao Kang, “Daughter Practices Fencing,” Whispers, Newton Chinese School Journal, June 2007.
[Author's Disclaimer] This article is not meant to be college application guidance. If it causes any misunderstanding, I deeply regret it.
Newton, Massachusetts, USA, January 2010. All rights reserved by the author.
January 16, 2010
[Postscript]
My daughter attended Harvard University, applying as a physics major, but later switched to biology with a minor in world religions.
I never asked why she became interested in religion. I suppose she wanted to figure out why so many people in the world are religious, while her parents don’t believe in anything!
She voluntarily joined Harvard’s fencing team as a walk-on and represented Harvard twice in the NCAA Women’s Épée competition!
After graduating, she went to Cambridge in the UK for a master’s degree, during which she represented the Cambridge Women’s Épée Team in a match against Oxford and won a long-awaited victory! The fencing team at British universities is purely a club, and undergraduates, postgraduates, and even staff can participate.
After Cambridge, she hasn’t picked up a sword again, as she developed other hobbies.
She is now a neurosurgery resident. I wish her lifelong happiness and joy.
September 21, 2024