布朗海滩记
·方壶斋·
加拿大新不伦斯维克省圣马丁市西南有路名西跨口。路的尽头是一块写着３３５号的牌子。一条土路把人领进一片茂盛的树木和野草从中。每年七八月，野花给树的葱绿点缀上红黄的颜色。沿着土路进去一两分钟，路分两岔。东边一条通向一个有钱女人的夏季别墅。那里她也有一个新建的网球场。女人的别墅背山面海，但是别墅的角度原来并不利于观海。后来她用了数万元把房子的角度作了调整，以便能够看到赏心悦目的海景。
西边一条路通向罗伯特－汉森的夏季别墅。罗伯特是一个退休了的中学教师，住在佛里德里克顿市。因为我在另外一篇文章中叫他老包，我这里还是如此称呼。老包的别墅是一栋三个卧房，一个客厅，一个车房的粗糙的木屋，是他父亲自己盖的。老包父母去世以后，房子一直处于失修状态，成了松鼠和老鼠的天堂。这些小动物在里面啃噬床垫，床单，衣服，书籍，并且在上面拉屎撒尿。后来老包的律师查出来房子归他一个人继承。他于是便在１９９６年开始整修并且请一些中国学生帮忙。我是其中一个。
老包把房子命名为“崖房”，因为它建在山崖上。山崖的石头是红色的。房子离山崖的边缘只有十来米。山崖的两臂一左一右伸向海中，好象是要拥抱大海。右臂很长，大部分在涨潮时没入水中，只有一个大石头像岛一般露在海面上。那块石头有一层层的构造，冲着天空翘起，好像一只要冲上云天的老鹰。落潮时，整条岩臂都裸露在外。岩石上覆盖着海草，使这条岩臂看起来像一只蟹爪。
山崖的左臂很短，是由几块巨石组成的。可是这些岩石形成一道天然屏障，把布朗海滩分成两部分。在老包别墅下面的那一部分大都是岩石。屏障左边那部分大部分是沙地。看到大自然如此泾渭分明地安排这个海滩，感觉真是奇妙。因为这里的石头大都是红色的，我另外给这个海滩取了个名字：“红石滩”。
我去过老包的夏季别墅六七次，每次学习之余去那里，都对海滩有不同的感受。上一次去的时候看到的平凡的景物，这一次却变得奇特起来，是常见的事。我觉得岩石就像文章，对它们的形状和质地的阅读理解常常因为时间和心情的不同而有所变化，正如范仲淹看岳阳楼的心情一样。
海滩的风景无疑会随着潮涨潮落和天气变化而变化，但是这些自然的现象如果不经过看景人的心境的过滤便没有意义。我第一次到这个海滩来是1997年夏天。站在海滩上，我意识到我面对的是风笛湾的一部分，一个和我熟悉的海，如北戴河或者东海或者南海，不一样的陌生的地方。我体会到了身处异地的那种新奇感。我有一种从母国解脱的感觉。我感到加拿大的这个可爱的角落是多么容人。这里的岩石，海滩，大海，天空，云彩和海鸥都那么友好热情。
随着时间的流逝，我越来越把这片海滩看成是中国东海的复制品了，因为它们地点大致相同，都对着早晨升起的太阳。慢慢地那些红色的岩石就让我想到曹操的那首名诗。这使我注意到，在北美，自然风景很少有人工的艺术品加以点缀。当然现在也有所谓的抽象艺术，但是那只是一些在特定场合才有特定含义的垃圾。比如说，在佛市，有人在老桥墩上立起了锯成鱼状的木板，据说是在表达保护大自然的思想。可是他们没有使那条河变得更美丽，相反，反而让人们觉得那里在搞工程。真正的艺术，那种需要灵感和训练的艺术，很少在大自然中看到。在北美，很难看到刻在岩石上的书法和佛像石窟（这里至少应该是圣像石窟，如果不是耶稣的像的话）。
布朗海滩只是一片野外风景，没有受到污染，也没有什么可以让人们回想起过去可能在这里发生的事情。人在这里看到的就是海浪，石头，石头上滴着水的海草，在海水里来回走动的一两只狗，偶尔来度假的人。不管有的时候海滩可能会因为人声有多么吵闹，一入夜，一切都恢复到自然原始的本来状态。有很多次，我坐在老包别墅前的躺椅上，看着夜色中在银色微波里反射着一轮不变的月亮的海，或者是暴风雨到来之前的汹涌着白浪，发出雷鸣声响的粗暴的海。在这样的场合，我在欣赏自然的美的同时，总是禁不住神游到母国的历史中去，曹操的诗句也总是顽固地出现在脑海里。
我这时也要禁不住想：曹操为什么要到东海去，在那写一首诗？或者，人们看海干什么？是为了没有受到玷污的自然美吗？还是因为在人的心海和自然界的大海之间有什么神秘的联系吗？
有一天，我把老包油漆房子剩下的油漆用到了红石滩上的两块大石头上。我无法刻字，所以只能用油漆在上面写字。我把曹操的“东临碣石，以观沧海”缩写成“临石观海”，在另外一块石头上，我写上“立岸听涛”。从老包的房子下到海滩上，要沿着一条乱石间的小溪走下去。在沿途一块显眼的平展展的石头上，我漆上了“隐泉”两个字。
我做这些的时候，意识到我是在给海滩赋予意义，并且希望别人也从同样的观点看这个海滩。我实际上是想让来这里的人都知道曹操。但是我的视角和别人一样么？老包说我破坏了海滩的自然美景。听他这么一说，我还真怕有警察找来。加拿大的警察一定是不会欣赏曹操的。幸亏下一次去的时候，海浪已经把字冲掉了。
我离开加拿大已经有四年了。老包去世也有三年了吧？现在我又离海很近，不过是在西海岸，面对太平洋。这里的海滩和布朗海滩不同。每天都有人，天气晴朗暖和的时候尤其如此。在这儿的海滩上，我找不到布朗海滩那种原始的宁静。可是很奇怪，我在这儿置身于人群中的时候感到的孤独更多。这也许是因为到这里来的人大多数是和朋友和家人一起来的，这种情景使我不能感觉和自然融为一体。在这里，一个人想置身于文化和社会的领域内，以便不觉得尴尬。在西跨口，你不必担心孤身一人。你只是万灵之一，等同于一只鸟或者一条狗。你不是孤独的。
□ 寄自美国
刊登在 2003 华夏快递 kd031123.
（2023 proof）
On the Brown’s Beach
Southwest of St. Martins, New Brunswick, Canada, there is a road called West Quaco. At the end of it by the sign board of “355,” a drive way leads into a secluded place rich in luxuriant vegetation and wild weeds. Every July and August, wild blossoms decorate the green lush with colors of yellow and red. A minutes or two later, the drive way parts into two branches. The eastern branch leads to the summer cottage of a rich woman accompanied by a newly built tennis court, which is also her property. Her cottage faces the sea and has the hills of West Quaco behind it, yet the angle of the house was detrimental to viewing the sea. Finally the rich women spend several tens of thousands of dollars to rotate it so that the perfect view could be gained to her satisfaction.
The western branch is the driveway of the summer cottage of Mr. Robert Hanson, retired school principle who lives in Fredericton. The cottage is a rough wood house of three bedrooms, a sitting room and a garage and was built by his father. After his parents passed away, his brother’s widow and her son tried to inherit the cottage and the uncertainty of property right led to years of disrepair, turning the cottage into a paradise of mice and squirrels that bit the mattresses, bed sheet, clothes and books and peed and shit upon them. Fortunately Robert’s lawyer traced the property right of the cottage and decided that Robert was the sole owner now. He therefore started his renovation of the cottage around 1996 and invited some Chinese students to offer a hand in help. I am one of them.
Robert Hanson named his cottage “Cliff Cottage,” for it is located on a cliff. There is only a distance of more than ten meters between the house and the edge of the cliff, which consists in red rocks. The cliff stretches into the sea with two arms as if to embrace the ocean. The right arm is rather long but most of it is submerged when the tide is in. Only a huge rock remains above the surface like an island. The rocks have a layered formation and slants toward the sky like an eagle about to soar. When the tide ebbs, the whole rocky arm exposes. With seaweeds covering the rocks, the whole arm looks like that of a crab.
The left arm is rather short, consisting of several huge rocks. These rocks however form a natural screen dividing the beach, called Brown’s Beach, into two parts. One part, right below the summer cottage, is mostly rocky. The other part, to the left of the rocky screen, is mostly sandy. It is marvelous to see how nature has arranged this so neatly. Because this rocky part consists in red cliff rocks, I have given it a separate name “the Beach of Red Rocks.”
I have been to Robert Hanson’s summer cottage six or seven times and each time when I go down to the beach at the intervals of work, I have different perceptions of the beach. It is not unusual that the common scenes of last time appear interesting this time. I feel that rocks are like texts and the reading of their shapes and textures all vary with time and the mood of the observer, just as how Fan Zhongyan felt when he was at the Yueyang Tower.
It is no doubt that the beach scenery changes with the tides and with the weather, but these natural phenomena do not have much meaning unless the mood of the observer is brought in. The first time I was on the beach was in the summer of 1997. I realized that I was facing part of the Bay of Fundy, a strange part of the ocean from the sea I used to know in China, such as Beidaihe or the East China Sea and the South China Sea. I then had the sensation of being in an alien location, with everything new. I had the feeling of emancipation from my home country. I felt how accommodating this lovely corner of Canada was. The rocks, the beach, the sea, the sky, the clouds and the sea gulls were all so benign and so inviting.
As time went on however, I more and more visualized this part of the ocean as a mirror site of the East China Sea, for they almost have the same location, facing the sun when it rises. Then the red rocks only reminded me of the famous poem by Cao Cao. I then noticed that in North America, natural beauty is not added to with artwork. Of course nowadays there is such a thing called abstract art, but more often than not, they are just some pieces of junk that are give a special meaning in a special context. For example, in Fredericton, recently some people decorated the remains of an old bridge with wood boards carved in the shape of fish. It is said that they convey the idea of environmental protection, but they add nothing to the beauty of the river and worse, they make people think some construction work is being done there on the bridge. Real art that needs inspiration and training can hardly be found in natural environments. One can hardly find such things as rock calligraphy and grottoes of Buddha statues (In this Christian world, it should be the images of Saints if not Jesus).
The beach here for example, presents only a picture of wilderness, unspoiled and does not remind people of anything that might have happened here. All one can see is the waves, the rocks with wet seaweeds dripping with water, the one or two dogs that wade in the sea and the occasional vacationers. No matter how noisy with human voice the beach may be sometimes, as dusk falls, everything returns to its unspoiled, natural and primitive state. Sitting on a beach chair on the cliff in front of Robert’s cottage, many times have I watched a sea in the darkness of night that reflects a never changing moon in its ever flickering wavelets in gentle breeze, or a sea rough with a pending storm, with white foamy waves pushing in one after another, giving a thundering sound. At such occasions, at the same time while I was appreciating the beauty of nature, my mind could not help but wonder away into the remote past of my home country, and Cao Cao’s lines kept pushing up into my consciousness.
I then wonder why Cao Cao should came to the East Sea and wrote a poem about it. Or why do people care about watching the sea at all? Is it because of the natural beauty of an unspoiled beach? Or is it because of a hidden, mysterious link between the human mind and the heaving mains?
One day I applied the paint that Robert used for painting his cottage to two big rocks on the Red Rock Beach. I could not inscribe, so painting was the only way I could do to the rocks. I abbreviated Cao Cao’s line “Coming east to the rock I watch the sea” into “Coming to the rock and watching the sea”. Then, I painted another phrase that matched this one according to the prosodic rules of Chinese classic poetry writing: “Standing on the beach and listening to the waves.” From the cottage to the beach, one has to follow a stream that flows among rocks. I found a flat rock in a conspicuous place and painted two characters: “Hidden Stream.”
While doing this I realized that what I was doing was to give meaning to the beach and wished secretly that others could see the place defined this way. Actually I was wishing that everyone who comes here knows something about Cao Cao. But is my perception the same as others? Robert Hanson thought I was defacing the beach and spoil its natural beauty. After hearing what he said, I was indeed afraid of being caught doing something illegal. The police would not appreciate Cao Cao for sure. Luckily, the characters were washed away the next time we went there.
It has been four years since I left Canada and maybe three years since Robert died. Now I am again close to the sea, but on the west coast, facing the Pacific. The beaches here are different from the Brown’s Beach. Everyday there are people, the more when it was warm and sunny. Here on the beach I could not find that primitive serenity typical of the Brown’s Beach. Strange enough, however, I often feel more lonely on the beaches here, when I am among people. This maybe because most people come to the beach with friends and family and that distracts me from feeling being one with nature. Here you want to be in the culture and social domain so that you will feel less awkward. In West Quaco, however, you do not have to worry about being alone. You are just one creature that, same as a bird or a dog. You are not alone.